We continue our series of article in Jèrriais – Jersey’s own traditional native language.
The ‘frouque’ in question is a digging fork, rather than a table fork. An English translation follows.
This contribution comes from Helen Romeril
Bouônjour bouonnes gens, ch’est Helen Romeril tch’a l’pliaîsi d’vouos présenter Eune frouqu’thée d’Jèrriais aniet.
J’sis hardi triste à dêcouvri, à l’âge dé souaixante-trais ans, qué man bieau p’tit Jèrri sent dêgouôtant. Eh bein, jé n’pâlais pon des oeux pouôrris, ni des tas d’ vèrt vrai tchi couvrent La Baie d’ St Aubîn duthant les cauds mais.
Nitout, j’réféthais à l’engrais humain qu’les fèrmyièrs font sèrvi et qu’il’ êtendent sus lus clios à côté d’ La Route dé Nièrmont. J’ en connais tchitch’uns p’t-être tchi pensent qué j’sis toque-toque, mais ch’est vrai. Jé n’crus pon l’homme tchi m’lé dit car j’ èrdoutis qu’i’ ‘tait à haler sus la gambe. Et bein, l’année pâssée j’ phônis l’ Départément d’l’Envithonnement tchi m’ explyitchit la procéduthe compliètement. Et laîssiz-mé vos dithe qué chennechîn înfecte les sept b’lettes!
Nânnîn, malheutheusement j’sis à pâler d’ tchiquechose tchi sent bein piéthe. Ch’est l’ départément dêcrit auve ches mots-chîn, “not fit for purpose” et “dysfunctional”, v’là tchi s’trouve dans la gâzette en deux mille vingt-deux.
J’avais dêjà înformé lé Minnistre du départément auve mes gênes. I’ mé d’mandit si j’aim’thais prendre part dans eune èrveue dé trais mais tchi s’pâsse achteu. Et bein seux, j’ m’accordis tout d’siette. Mais j’tais hardi d’sappointée quand nou m’ dit qué malheutheusement jé n’pouôrrais pon participer pa’ce qu’i’ y’ avait trop d’autres pliaintes dêjà.
La sitûation touônnit dé mal en piéthe et les vilannies du départément sont vraîment chotchantes. J’sis d’sappointée qu’ma naïveté m’faithait penser qué tout ‘tait bein en Jèrri. J’attends l’ rêsultat d’la r’veue auve hardi d’anticipâtion.
V’là tchi m’ fit penser comment qué l’ monde a changi (p’t-êt’ pon pouor lé mus) duthant les dreins chînquante ans. Y’avait un temps quand ta pathole avait eune sîngnificâtion profonde et ni pé ni p’lo n’èrvénait sus sa pathole.
J’ m’èrsouveins quand man chièr pépèe ’tait à m’aîdgi à acater ma preunmié vaituthe – un p’tit beige mini. Lé seul problième ’tait qué l’ même jour qu’i’ l’avait trouvée, j’avais trouvé ma parfaite vaituthe – un bliu mini tchi ’tait étout à miyeu marchi et tch’avait mains d’milles. Man pépèe toutefais m’ explyitchit tch’il avait châtchi d’main sus l’accord et ch’tait la fîn de l’histouaithe. Eune léçon împortante qué j’ai tréjous siévi mé-même.
I’ m’sembl’ye qué l’honneu, l’honnêteté et la confianche ont ’taient rempliaichis étout par les mensonges, l’avarice et l’égoïsme. Parfais eune promêsse n’a pon d’valeu même parmi ta fanmil’ye.
Aussî, dreinement j’ai dêcouvri qu’ la louai n’ vos protège pas tout à fait car nou peut li touônner l’tchu en haut et ou peut même protégi les mauvaises gens. Comme un exempl’ye, un vaîsîn dé d’vant, tchi malheutheusement ne jouissait pon d’ la miyeu santé dans sa tête, pensait qu’ j’avêmes des ôtis d’travas îndustriels dans not’ garage tchi ’taient la cause dé sa maîson à sécouer.
Duthant deux’-trais s’maines i’ d’vînt dé pus en pus êmu. À la fîn i’ nos dit qu’il avait tué des gens d’vant et qu’i’ trouvait ch’nna progressivement aîsi. Et pis i’ racontit qu’i’ voudrait tuer Michael, man parchonnyi auve un couté et qu’il espéthait qu’ san fis éthait ouï ch’nna.
Duthant chu temps êffritant, j’phônînmes la Police trais fais. Et châque fais oulle arrivit siez-nous à pid couothant. Mais même après chutte grave m’niche i’ n’ l’arrêtîtent pon et lus seul avis ’tait d’ s’en r’aller siez nous et d’bârrer la porte! Dgieu mèrcie i’ r’touônnit au Texas.
Dans tchi drôle temps qué j’sommes à vivre. J’espéthe qué man p’tit Jèrri pouôrra coper l’ pouôrri et trouver un r’miède bétôt d’vant qu’i’n’sait trop tard.
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Hello good people, it’s Helen Romeril who has the pleasure of presenting Eune frouqu’thée d’Jèrriais aniet.
I am very sad to discover at the age of 63 that my beautiful little Jersey stinks. Now I am not talking about rotten eggs, nor the heaps of green sea lettuce that covers St Aubin’s Bay during the hot months.
Neither am I referring to the human waste that the farmers use and spread on their fields along Route de Noirmont. I know perhaps some of you will think I am crazy but it is true. I did not believe the man who had told me this as I suspected he was pulling my leg. So, last year I phoned the Environment Department who explained the whole process to me. And let me tell you this stinks to high heaven.
No, unfortunately I am talking about something which stinks even worse. It’s the Department reported as “Not fit for purpose” and “dysfunctional” which can be found in the JEP in 2022.
I had already contacted the relevant Minister with my concerns. He asked me if I would be happy to take part of the 3 month review which is currently being conducted. I of course agreed straight away. But I was very disappointed when I was told that unfortunately I would not be able to take part as there were too many other complaints already.
The situation got even worse and the vile actions of the Department are truly shocking. I am disappointed that my naivety made me think that all was well in Jersey. I await the review results with much anticipation.
This got me thinking about how the world has changed (and not for the better) in the last 50 years. There was a time when your word meant something and nobody at all went back on their word.
I remember when my dear dad was helping me buy my first car – a little beige mini. The only problem was on the same day he had found it I had found my dream car – a blue mini which was also cheaper and less mileage. My Dad however explained to me that he had shaken hands on the deal and that was the end of it. An important lesson that I have always followed myself.
It seems to me that honour, honesty and trust have been replaced with lies and greed and selfishness. Sometimes, promises mean nothing not even within your family.
Also, I have discovered recently that the law does not always protect you fully as it can be turned upside down and even protects the wrong doer. As an example, a former neighbour who unfortunately did not enjoy the best of mental health, thought we had some industrial equipment in our garage which was making his house shake violently.
Over several weeks he became more and more agitated. He eventually told us that he had killed people before and he found it progressively easy. And then he told us that he wanted to kill Michael my partner with a knife and he hoped his son would hear it.
During these frightening times we phoned the police 3 times and each time they arrived at our home quickly. But even after this serious threat they did not arrest him and their only advice was to go home and lock the door! Thank God he has gone back to Texas.
What a strange time we are living in. I hope that my little Jersey is able to cut out the rot soon and find a cure before it is too late.
